Over thirty years ago, working at The Boston Consulting Group taught me that one of the best ways to think about a business or market is as a competitive game. Thinking this way means understanding the “rules of the game” (economics) and understanding the competitors, complementors, etc.  (This was before “game theory” had entered the business lexicon and become mandatory reading for executives.  See here for my favorite book on game theory’s application to business.)

I’m also a bit ashamed to admit I have found hatred for one’s competitors to be a motivating influence on teams.  As a result, in the past, I encouraged my teammates to develop disparaging, inappropriate, and amusing nicknames for competitors.  I would, of course, never do this now.   This behavior was confined to my infantile period only– which lasted from 1960 to approximately 2010.

At Ariba, we had a few nicknames for our competitors:

  • Frictionless was Functionless
  • Emptoris was EmptyOrefice
  • SAP was simply pronounced like the liquid that circulates in the vascular system of plants
  • OB10 was OB-GYN (I told you it was an infantile phase.)
  • CommerceOne was a competitor for my first year, but flamed out so quickly it did not warrant a nickname
  • Oracle was working on conFusion (and still is)
  • Xign was one we would just pretend we could not figure out how to pronounce

You get the idea.  Childish, relatively harmless fun–except when the nicknames got inappropriate.  Those names originated with my sales team, I assure you–not me.

My sheepish question is, does anyone else do this?  And if so, would you mind sharing your examples?  You can always say they are ones you have heard from your sales team, but never used yourself!

 

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